So this happened today…
I’m tending bar at a country music festival that’s here for the weekend. We were told to wear all black. My super low black tank top and a cowboy hat are on point.
It’s break time and I’m walking from my bar to go get food. There is a couple walking in front of me. The girl turns to look back at her husband and notices me; not just notices, but spins around, wide-eyed, steps in front of me with both hands out grabs my boobs and exclaims, “Holy shit! You have great tits! Can I touch them?” Mind you, she’s already got both hands full of me, honking away and clearly drunk so I said, “Sure. Be my guest.” What else was there to say?
Giddy with drunken excitement, she slurs out, “Seriously, shit, they are fucking amazing.” and pokes them each a few times. She then turns to her husband who is completely embarrassed and instructs him to touch my “amazing tits”. He jumps back with both hands in the air and tells her they shouldn’t be touching me. Ms. Drunky Pants then grabs her husbands hands and plants them on my chest. The poor guy is apologizing, but does agree with her my “tits” are “amazing”. I can’t stop laughing.
Random shit like this happens to me all the time. People, usually complete strangers, feel the need to touch me. I’m used to it. She was drunk and harmless. He was embarrassed and apologetic. It was pretty damn funny. Ms. Drunky Pants was still amazed as she let go and danced away, yelling over her shoulder, “Baby, I need to get me some tits like those.”
Hey Chuck! What did you do today?
Well, I opened a lot of beer, had my boobs groped by a drunk chick and her man, made some money…